Feral Mills Sells Out

I need to raise some funds this month so this is a paid sponsorship from Burgin' Out™

April's looking like it'll be a rough month over here at Feral Mills. In order to stay off the streets I've taken on several sponsorships and switched to a cheaper method of comic production.

Help me get rid of invasive sponsors by joining my Patreon!

Transcript

Panel 1
Two messages are written on torn scraps of cardboard. They read: DUE TO FINANCIAL WOES FERAL MILLS WILL NOW BE PRODUCED IN AN ANALOGUE FORMAT. THIS COMIC STRIP IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURGIN' OUT™

Panel 2
Chauncey and Lester, drawn on paper cut-outs, stand on either side of a real burger that's half their size.
Chauncey: Mm-mmm, is that the new ThiccBurg™ from Burgin' Out™?
Lester: This burger sucks, man.

Panel 3
Lester, leaning on the burger, winks and holds up a large blue pill.
Lester: Hey, fellas 18-34, you ever eat a burger so bad it killed your boner? Then you should try some Sparolofil! Guaranteed* to improve your erections with minimal side effects.
Text box: side effects include: hell nightmares, anal inversion, ocular melt, nipple prolapse, Havana syndrome, ego death, regular death, headache

Panel 4
Closeup of Chauncey looking annoyed.
Chauncey: What the hell are you doing?

Panel 5
Lester looks back at Chauncey, also annoyed.
Lester: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm hawkin' shady foreign dick pills!

Panel 6
Chauncey: Are you crazy? You can't just stick a different commercial in the middle of our burger ad! Marla, back me up here.

Panel 7
Closeup of Marla, smiling and looking directly into the camera.
Marla: Hey, Lester, did you know there's a guaranteed* way to multiply your dubious erection pill money?
Lester: No, what is it?
Text box: *not guaranteed in any statistical sense

Panel 8
Marla stretches out her arms and legs on a pile of Canadian money.
Marla: Online gambling* with ScamDuel Casino!
Text box: *gamble responsibly... ... if you're a little wuss

Panel 9
Chauncey grips the bridge of his nose in frustration.
Chauncey: Jesus Christ, Is that it, or is there some other bad investment you guys want to push?

Panel 10
A picture of a torn and roughed up cardboard sign in an alleyway. It reads JOIN THE FERAL MILLS PATREON! patreon.com/kewkoh
In front of the sign sits a slightly crumpled fast food drink cup with a Canadian five dollar bill in it.

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Sunday Comix!

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